Im gonna start only putting stories and stuff up here cause you're too smart.

I'm weak.... and when things happen that i can't control I go deep inside somewhere and and leave my body to reconstruct me as best as possible... it never does a good job
forgive me
im so sorry

WAIT SERIOUSLY? FUCK ME. AFTER ALL THAT I HAVE TO ALSO DEAL WITH THIS. THIS IS NOT WHOA TIME. fuck everything.

"Things are gonna get better and if they don't were gonna go out and kill everyone and everything, how does that sound, huh?"

Days without it are like commercials. Pointless and repetative. I wait anxiously on the edge of my seat until the clock strikes a random time when it calls on me. I'm always ready.
I got my first reassurence. I don't know why it took so long to arrive, like a letter lost in the mail. Hearing that filled me. I was honestly taken aback. Its astonoshing... that fucking thign means so much to me... it would be, along with maybe two other things, something i would grab in a fire. Ew why do i care about it so much. Why do care about IT so much. Fuck formspring. I can't answer something like that on there. Maybe I should talk.
And then tonight, tonight was weird. I was so tired and every time I'm off my game it feels like its slipping away. I hate school cause it causes me to be off my game. And I hate being so self aware about how self critical I am. I have such a big ego. But saying that is like proving that I don't really.
I wish I could say that I don't care... ABOUT IT... but I do.

Hahaha you check this so often don't you? Its sweet.

I followed you through the park, in the jungle, in the dark, girl I've ever whoa.

Still thinking. So that's a no right?

Whoa... whoa... wait whoa.
Wait.. like maybe? It may just be absence that raises this question... but like whoa.
To re-answer your question... like maybe I am.
Whoa.

This one goes out to you... black bird

I hate this thing... in case you hadn't noticed by the lack of anything from the last like month or two?
Shit... It's been a long time.
I just wanna say this... You can call it what you want to call it... But I am dependent on alcohol more than anyone can understand... at nights I travel down to my liquor cabinet and feel the hinges of the door... they're always cold... like Dad's ears when I used to grab at those. Nothing can make me feel more natural... Nothing makes me feel more like I'm living... than you.
Caught you by surprise there didn't I!
You've changed me... uprooted my dependencies and you've... I don't know changed them around. They're better now. Now I can truly be on a boat and not be drunk. I can sway and swim and do what I will, without help. Nothing can make me feel more pride than the answers to Erica Mcgee I give, "Yes. She's mine." After sloping for so long I ,literally and metaphorically, have a better posture. Life isn't a burden.
You're so real. You're always right there in front of me. What is it I said some random night? These are times of the good? It didn't make sense but... I meant it. This is thank you. This is thank you for making life, well, life.
Your crazy, Charlie Sevy, and I love it. Don't you change a thing. Not even your speech impediment.
Call me when you see this... I just wanna know if you actually will read it.

P.S. sorry to anyone I made throw up... but like only a little