Days without it are like commercials. Pointless and repetative. I wait anxiously on the edge of my seat until the clock strikes a random time when it calls on me. I'm always ready.
I got my first reassurence. I don't know why it took so long to arrive, like a letter lost in the mail. Hearing that filled me. I was honestly taken aback. Its astonoshing... that fucking thign means so much to me... it would be, along with maybe two other things, something i would grab in a fire. Ew why do i care about it so much. Why do care about IT so much. Fuck formspring. I can't answer something like that on there. Maybe I should talk.
And then tonight, tonight was weird. I was so tired and every time I'm off my game it feels like its slipping away. I hate school cause it causes me to be off my game. And I hate being so self aware about how self critical I am. I have such a big ego. But saying that is like proving that I don't really.
I wish I could say that I don't care... ABOUT IT... but I do.